Recovery Time

I must like my schedule, because here it is Monday morning and I feel like I'm recovering from the weekend.

I spent all of Friday running errands with a friend, by the end of the day I was tired again. Still I stayed up late and watched re-runs of Bananas with my daughter. For anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about, Bananas is an improv comedy show that uses only clean family type comedy, so you can watch it with your kids and not worry about what inappropriate things they might say. So, that is our Friday night show. The daughter usually really enjoys it.

Saturday I decided to be brave for a change and go to the Women's Brunch over at the church I've been attending for almost a year now. I don't really know hardly anyone there, so I decided to give it a try and see what it was like. Sadly, it was predictable. The women were of course all very nice, but me, I didn't feel like I fit in. I never do feel like I fit in and so I end up withdrawing. This is a regular routine for me. Try to make friends and get to know people, then when I have tried for a while and usually people either assume I mean something I didn't say, or they assume I'm someone they think I am and they don't really know me at all, I feel really invisible as always. And eventually I get sick of feeling misunderstood and invisible, so I go away from them. Sometimes maybe they wonder why I left, other times they just don't care or don't notice. This is normal invisible stuff. Still, it hurts. I don't know what I expect and I don't know how to lose the oversized chip I seem to carry on my shoulder. I'm asking God to help me with this. I don't much like that I feel this way and I don't know what to do to make it go away. I often feel misunderstood and I haven't yet figured out how to help others understand. I do think the church ladies aren't intentionally making me feel like an outsider. It's just me, I guess. Anyway, I am committed now to not trying to fit in, if it's not a good fit. Because I actually mostly like me as I am and I can't make others see me if it's impossible for them. So, I'm going to just be myself and eventually it will work out or it won't.

Saturday afternoon the daughter went off to her party. So, hubby and I went on a date. We went out to a movie "The Prestige" and then to dinner, and then because we've clearly been married a while, we went to get toilet paper at the store. How romantic!

The movie was good, not great for me, but it was interesting enough. Dinner was good. I didn't overeat. Which is always the big deal for me. I had enough to be satisfied, but not so much that I was too full. So, I didn't have the after eating guilt I get when I over indulge. This of course makes everything better.

Sunday, is always busy at our house. The hubby is usually on the computer while I'm off to church, the daughter came home from her party, tired, but excited about her fun time. We had errands to run and tried to spend time as a family. By Sunday night, I'm just exhausted. So, I'm glad it's Monday. We do have school this morning and it will be a busy day, but I'm glad to be back to my routine.